Witty and Insightful Customer Complaints
Seth Godin defines “remarkable marketing” as “the Purple Cow.” As he notes, “Something remarkable is worth talking about. Worth noticing. Exceptional.”
However, when a brand breaks a promise or service isn’t delivered, then you have achieved “exceptional” in a counter-productive way. As word of mouth expert Pete Blackshaw notes: “Satisfied customers tell three friends, angry customers tell 3,000.”
But there’s a bright side. Many customers, even when they are dis-satisfied, are witty and insightful in their complaints. How would you respond to a complaint that made you laugh, even think? Here’s a few to consider:
Airline “bird” food – play by play
A disgruntled, but witty passenger served up this meal complaint on Richard Branson’s Virgin Airlines:
“On the left, we have a piece of broccoli and some peppers in a brown, glue-like oil, and on the right, the chef has prepared some mashed potato. The potato masher had obviously broken, and so it was decided [that] the next best thing would be to pass the potatoes through the digestive tract of a bird.”
A Spin Story
Following the purchase of a dishwasher, a customer returned to the store and announced: “The dishwasher is quite obviously faulty – when set to wash, water sprays, but the plates don’t spin.”
Surprise the Customer
If you’re the CEO, and you’re replying to emails personally, respond promptly and sign the emails with your personal contact information. Most customers expect to speak with an overseas help desk, so a response from the CEO will surely impress. I include my cell phone number in all customer correspondence, and have never encountered any privacy issues. (Benjamin Sann, Founder/CEO of BestParking.com)
Surprise the Customer, Part 2
ABC Good Morning America reported this story: A pilot who blogs as JetHead, a self-described veteran American Airlines captain, wrote this. Last month, he saw a little girl crying at the boarding gate in Dulles. Long story short, the child left her backpack at security (with teddy bear inside) and the pilot risked a late departure to go back and get it. “We don’t just fly jets,” he wrote, “we fly people. And the occasional teddy bear.” The plane departed on time.
Imaginary Customer Service
A favorite Dilbert cartoon: Dilbert is on hold waiting for customer support. The recorded announcement says “All of our service representatives are busy. Your call is important to us. Please hold until it is no longer important to you!”
Choking Down a Complaint
A customer in England complained that the canned meat he’d purchased was unreasonably salty. Being reasonable, the retailer said he would receive a full refund on the return of the remaining meat. The customer said this “would be impossible”. He’d managed to eat the remaining 480grams of the offending meat.
Have your own favorite customer complaint? Let us know and we’ll publish a sequel.
By Michael Snyder, Managing Principal, The MEK Group